Friday, September 08, 2006

LOVE ME, KISS ME, CITE ME


Last month I got my first mechanical traffic citation. I was less than 1/2 mile from work when I saw him in my rearview mirror - an LA County Sheriff motorcycle cop going through a citation withdrawl. He needed a fix and there was nothing he wouldn't stop at to get it. He caught a glimpse of my brake light (or lack there of) and that was all he needed - I was just the mechanical malfunction he was looking for. Damn it, and I was so close to the office.

As he approached my window he could barely contain himself. So giddy was he to write me up that he asked for my license but not my registration. He assured me that I did nothing "wrong" and not to worry, "this will NOT go on your driving record." Great. He kept me roadside for about 10 minutes on that fateful morning in August as he gleefully wrote the citation ... meanwhile the cries of countless crime victims went unheeded in the city of Burbank.

After a quick bulb-change by everyone's favorite eastside mechanic, KoKo (no charge of course, I'm a longtime customer who refers his garage up the ying-yang) I got to have the new light inspected by the Sheriff's Dept. in downtown Burbank. This consisted of the deputy at the front door of the building nodding 'yes' and waving me away while chatting with a co-worker as I pressed my brake pedal down. Then I got to stand in line at two different counters and pay them a total of $25 for the inconvenience of doing this all on my lunch hour.

The final epigram: One woman's citation is another man's libation.

7 comments:

Boobs Radley said...

they pulled me over for having an out of state license plate. i hate cops.

The Grunt said...

I was pulled over once for being in a car that looked "suspicious". When the cop said it wasn't the vehicle, he then told me to "Not come 'round here no more!" Since when is an old Plymouth grandma car suspicious?

Anonymous said...

People like you should not be allowed to drive on our roads.

Sun Follower said...

^ And cowardly 'anonymous' people like YOU should not be allowed to post stupid comments... which is why I'll delete them... whenever I feel like it.

Michelle said...

Was the cop at least CUTE??? lol

Sun Follower said...

Ha-ha! Nope! If he were, this would be a whole other kind of post :)

Ashley said...

ahhhh! that would really piss me off! Especially cause my brake lights haven't been working correctly either.