The week the folks who bring you The Smoking Gun are releasing a book "The Dog Dialed 911" - in addition to your favorite celebrity mug shots, there is a chapter on lists which inludes "tour riders." A rider is a list of preferences for famous people (i.e. rock stars, movie stars, and vice presidents) of what accomodations they will need when on tour.
With several birthday gatherings scheduled for this week, I decided to create my own "birthday rider" - because what better time than your birthday to be immersed in your own preferences. Let's face it - we compromise our preferences all year around - at work, with friends and family, and even in the friggin' supermarket when they are out of your brand you are forced to buy another inferior one. Anyway - I think we are all entitled to a birthday rider, and here's mine:
1. Flowers - YES
2. Fresh towels and linens
3. All meeting places must be close to home - the closer to my house, the better
4. Wine and dine me at a restaurant I actually like (i.e. no fast-food chains)
5. NO SINGING "happy birthday" by a 1/2 dozen waiters in a public forum
6. NO SINGING "happy birthday" by a 1/2 dozen friends in a public forum - humming, OK
7. Candles must total using numerology only, by adding digit one and digit two of my age
8. Chauffeur must be no more than 5 minutes early
9. Cocktails of choice: a margarita, a good red wine, a martini (shaken or stirred)
10. Pitcher of chilled mountain spring water and a glass
11. Gifts - totally optional but always appreciated- but NO "gag" gifts or 'funny' cat pillows; CA$H always OK
5 comments:
happy birthday?
Yeah, I know it is coming up soon, but when? I think I will just have to guess and see how close I get. Expect the unexpected!
I love the idea of a rider for one's birthday. makes me feel like a rockstar. minus the groupies. and the fans. and the drugs. and the sex. and the money. and the fame. but pretty much like a rockstar.
The aiters singing happy birthday is a dealbreaker in my book too.
This is awesome & you definitely deserve everything listed. Hope you don't mind if I steal it for my b-day next year:)
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