ATTRACTION = SOULMATES? INFATUATION? TRUE & LASTING FRIENDSHIP? ILLUSION?

This is a topic that is older than Mount Olympus, but I'm gonna write this blog anyway. What is it that attracts us to certain people from the get-go (romanictally or Platonically)? More importantly, what is it that keeps us connected to these people over the years? What is this "tie" made of and why are some durable and some not? Some lasting and some fleeting?

I have many people that I have been connected to by choice (blood relatives do not count) for several years, and can safely bet that I will be connected to them for years to come. Certainly some relationships are stronger and closer than others, but the ties are still there. Some ties get severed, especially if there is no more sustenance to keep them viable. For me, the more interesting kind of tie goes beyond the physical. I mean, we ALL can attest to initially being physically attracted to someone in spite of all the obvious things that make us not attracted to people - like lack of maturity, the many interests that you don't naturally have in common, incompatibility in terms of intelligence (possibly education) and you don't have a similar sense of humor. When these things come to the forefront, the attraction fades and the "relationship" (if it even got that far) dissipates and usually ends. Result: that person is much less attractive than initially thought.

Then there are those people who become more attractive over time because thoe more you get to know them, the stronger your admiration is and you see them in a way that transcends what they look like or what they are wearing or driving or eating.

OK, so here's why I am rambling about this well-worn subject. The more I get to know "A," the more I think he's just a terrific person and I am attracted to his terrificness. Without knowing very much about him in the beginning, on the surface he's just this affable, quiet guy. But then I found out little by little that he is an avid reader of interesting books (which is why I asked him to join my book club), is passionate about pop culture and has his favorite icons, eras, things and music (which I think is cool, and it inspires me to check his interests out) and he does not criticize anyone else's points of interest and in fact is open to checking those out as well. He is also a very bright, generous, thoughtful and kind person with a witty and dry sense of humor. And I get the distinct impression the admiration is mutual, which makes this newly established tie all the more satisfying as it slowly evolves. Physically? Yeah, he is attractive - but even moreso now that I know him better - still, that is not the most important thing about him or what attracts me to him. He's just one of those people that I "click" with - whatever "click" means.

Will "A" and I be in each other's lives years from now? I can't say. Perhaps this is one of those meant to be, but fleeting connections. Destiny has thrown us together in the workplace (space and time wise) for now... but it's hard to say what will last or even grow deeper based on the boundaries and restrictions that our relationship exists in. There are other people whom I met concurrently that I actually know better and have spent more time with... but I do not feel the same kind of inexplicable connection as I do with "A."  It's like I've known him longer or something. What is that thing that attracts us to people? Like that British brother and sister separated at birth only to find each other as adults - marry, and later learn they are twin siblings. Ew! Talk about sweet & sour irony.  Is it fair to speculate that theirs was some kind of soul recognition for having shared a womb at one time and was mistaken for love at first sight?  Or was it just sheer coincidence, which is an illusion in and of itself according to some Indian spiritualists.

It's a head-spin - this whole human relationships thing.  Time to stop thinking and check out TMZ....